An Unmitigated Disaster

Valentine’s Day is supposed to be that of romance, an opportunity to remind those you love of how much they mean to you.  

Yes, yes, yes – I know you should do it every day.  You shouldn’t need a hallmark occasion to tell that special someone that you love them.  But to me, I wanted the opportunity to rain red on my husband.  To treat him.  After all, apart from the name it could be any old Tuesday and Tuesdays aren’t the most exciting days of the week, are they?

image taken at 5.50am - so apologies for the poor quality from my mobile phone!

So it was all planned.  Sunday I set out to make a mouth-watering heart-shaped red velvet sponge cake.  That was mistake number one.  It looked like plastic.  It rose beautifully in the oven, and then disappeared before my eyes into a bendy piece of rubbery type sponge – probably would look better on a BMX bike tyre! 

Nevertheless, I had read that sometimes red velvet cakes came out this way so I would soldier on.  But I needed another layer!

Monday night came home and got a heart-shaped chocolate fudge sponge in the oven.  Figured it couldn’t fail.  My tried and tested recipe for my infamous Chocolate Fudge Cake. 

Nope – that burnt.  I have never, ever, ever burnt a cake before. 

Mortified, I thought – I’ll cut those bits off.

On with the cream cheese frosting which would cover up the mess and no doubt make the cake look beautiful covered in iced roses.

Nope – catastrophe.  I can only think that the cream cheese I used was not thick enough.  A whole box of icing sugar later, it was still too loose.  In the fridge for 2 hours.  Still runny as honey.

5.30am – a whole 10 hours later, rush downstairs to ice the cake before hubby wakes up.  It’s looking thicker – could be onto a winner.  Quickly ice the middle of the cake and apply a crumb layer – it’s looking possible.   Slop the icing into a disposable bag with my new 1M nozzle and start to squeeze.


Just look at the poor photos.

Alas.  Lopped on some more icing.  Watched as it slowly slipped down the sides of the cake and onto the plate.  My face drops as I hear hubby getting up. 

Reluctantly, I put it on the table next to his card, as small gift, a few choccy hearts I bought as decoration and a novelty red rose.

Needless to say, it didn’t have the reaction I had hoped for.

It’s back in the fridge now as I write this from work.  I’m hoping that the icing might solidify enough that I can try a piece when I get home and if I think it won’t kill anyone, I’ll bring it into the office so it doesn’t go completely to waste.

Hopefully the card, gift, the small love note in his salad box, and the little heart-shaped box of choccies in his work bag he’s probably found my now will make up for the poor attempt of gastronomical patheticness (is that a word?)

But I’m not deterred.  I’m going to crack that recipe.  I’ve decided to steer clear of any future American websites and cook books – inspirational use only.  Never again will I make cream cheese frosting except for a carrot cake.  I will stick to the good old English metric measurement.  Although, that couldn’t have been the reason for the chocolate fudge fudge up!  That is unexplainable and something I must get to the bottom of. 

Oh well – this evening we’re off for a romantic meal at one of our favourite restaurants – hopefully that will make up for the day of mishaps.

But alas, I have no wonderful recipes to share.  No words of advice on how to make Valentine’s day special.  Although, I think the effort always counts! 

Onto Valentine’s 2013.  Hopefully by then the humble housewife will have learnt a few more tips and I can impart my wisdom!  Until then . . . I remain humble and plod on.

One thought on “An Unmitigated Disaster

  1. Pingback: February is merely as long as is needed to pass the time until March | ahumblehousewife

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